Windy Wednesday...

This is obviously not a windy wednesday but a rememberance of Chuck Norris so that he doesn't hold a grudge towards us kids in escubed:
Enjoy some facts
•When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
•Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
•Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
•There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
•When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
•Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
•A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
•When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
•Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
•When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
•How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
•Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
•Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
•Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
•When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
•Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
•When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
•Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
•Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
•For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
•When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
•Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
•Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
•On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
•Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
•In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
•Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
•Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
•Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
•Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
•Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
•Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
•Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
•Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
•The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
•It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
•Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
•The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
•There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
•When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.
•Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
•James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
•Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
•Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.
•Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.